Episode 259: Title Fight: Round 3

Episode 259: Title Fight: Round 3
It's time to enter the ring once again as Pat and Mike play different songs with the same title. Find out which songs can go the distance and which songs get punched through the ropes!
From June 30, 2016

With your hosts:

Pat Francis

Mike Siegel

00:00:00 Pat, Mike, and Kyle welcome us to the show. We start off talking about cameras before getting into some Rock Solid business. The rotation of Rock Solid co-hosts has become a bit inconsistent lately, what with the standup and the Modern Family and the traveling. Mike is finally back on the show after a few months of Siegel Silence and we're happy he's here. He discusses the Hard and Heavy show that Pat and Kyle did and compliments them for showing the melodic side of screaming death metal.
00:05:00 Now that Mike is back in the hot seat, we get the chance to delve into a couple things, the first of which is

Here's the deal: Pat sometimes writes reviews for Pop Culture Beast and he'll get CDs from bands that he's never heard of. So we're gonna hear some songs with completely fresh ears. Today's album is California King by Crown Jwlz. And that's not a band, that's a lady. Mike studies the album cover and is quite entranced by its gaudiness and hip-hop appeal. Meanwhile Pat tweets at her and she likes, retweets, and follows back seven seconds later.
  • "California King" -- The boys were expecting Nicki Minaj, but it sounds more like Pink. Not bad at all.
  • "Cool" -- Again, more rocker than hip hopper. The guys consider the gaudy album cover a disservice to the music. "Everything about this is shit except for the product," says Pat.
  • "Party Past the Sunrise" -- "Alright Crown Jwlz, you won me over," admits Mike.
  • "Without U" -- Crown Jwlz's EP is now Rock Solid approved and Pat sends out another tweet to seal the deal.
Crown Jwlz is now following Kyle. Everyone celebrates.
Alright, the pre-show is over and now it's time for the actual pay-per-view. LIVE FROM ROCK SOLID STUDIOS IN BEAUTIFUL LOS ANGELES, IT'S TIME FOR

Pat and Mike will each play two songs with the same title. The other co-host and Kyle will decide which song is better. The co-host who played the song will be the deciding vote. Now let's get it on!
00:20:00 Mike kicks things off with our opening contest.

Pat and Mike agree that Dirty Work is the worst Rolling Stones album, and yet.... Jimmy Pardo LOVES it. Wants to bathe in it, even. Pat and Kyle both go with Steely Dan. Mike would have gone with them as well.
Pat picks the second battle, and it's a two-on-one handicap match between a pair of lovely ladies and a Canadian multi-tasker.

BREAKING CROWN JWLZ NEWS! She has responded on Twitter again and is all smiles about being mentioned on the podcast. Mike is now a fan, she's won him over!
00:25:00 So it's a battle between hard rock 70s vs. cheesy 80s. Kyle goes with Aldo Nova, Mike goes with Heart. Pat breaks the tie for the Seattle siblings.

Pat and the gang briefly discuss the whereabouts of Aldo Nova.
Mike changes things up early with a huge THREE-WAY DANCE!!!
00:30:00 This is a three-way battle between two soulful souls and a lady who's "bringing an axe," as Mike describes her. This is a tough one, but Pat and Kyle go with Blondie because it's right in their wheelhouse.

MORE CROWN JWLZ NEWS! "She's getting more air time than anyone on this show," says Mike. She wants to know when she can hear the podcast. Pat tells her when the episode drops, but doesn't give any links to the ACTUAL PODCAST! "She'll find it," Pat reassures.
00:35:00 A huge match coming up next between two legendary rock icons.

Pat and Kyle agree that Flick of the Switch is a good album, but wish that Mutt Lange had produced it. Mike goes with Bruce, as does Kyle.
Mike decides to lower the manliness of the podcast by about sixty percent.
00:40:00 "Orleans comes out, swinging weakly," commentates Mike. But it seems that Mr. Brown has a glass jaw because Pat and Kyle give it to the band.
Pat's next bout is another big icon vs. icon fight.

This is a straight up knockout for Prince.
"The only way Prince loses this is if he's fighting The Clash in an elevator."
- Pat

"Last month."
- Mike

Awwwwww, poor little guy. But he'll rock in peace knowing he's a winner.
00:45:00 Up next on this huge card comes to us a match simulcast from Arena Mexico.

Pat y Kyle escogen los luchadores Los Lobos. Ellos son los ganadores.
For Pat's next fight, we see the return of a previous fighter!
00:50:00 "Nobody is keeping Aldo Nova alive like you are," compliments Mike. Mike goes with Loggins, Kyle picks Aldo Nova, while Pat breaks the tie and gives it to the bearded dynamo.

While Pat might be feeling a little loopy, Mike is jolted. He brought along a diet energy drink that an Air BnB heroin addict left behind in Mike's house. True story.
Mike injects some groove into tonight's proceedings:
00:55:00 Sam Cooke's smooth ways earn him the victory as Pat and Kyle go with him.
Survivor Series has come a little early this year as we've got a HUGE elimination tag match.

Mike goes with his hometown boys from Chicago, Styx. Kyle doesn't like the intro to Styx's song, but once it kicks in he likes it. So the fight goes to Styx.
We have quite the mismatch for this next battle from Mike Siegel
01:00:00 It seems that this one is a downright slaughter. Kyle quotes the movie Grandma's Boy: "This is like if Tyson fought an infant."
Now this next one from Pat Francis is just not fair because one of the band has a very big disadvantage: Their drummer is missing an arm!

Pat remembers seeing the video for Def Leppard's "Women" on MTV. It was the first time Rick Allen was videoed without his arm. He went and told his mom Mama Francis, who simply uttered "Oh, isn't that something" and went back to her smokes. Pat had a charmed childhood.
01:05:00 Mike goes with Foreigner, possibly because they have more arms. Kyle picks Def Leppard. Pat is just distraught, he can hardly decide, but he ultimately ends up going with Foreigner as well.
We decide to have a bit of a breather. In pro wrestling, this is what's known as a buffer match.

John Denver may be "sorry for the way things are in China," but that will not help him in this fight. Pat and Kyle give it to former Rock Solid guest Marshall Crenshaw.
"Did [John Denver] write his own songs?"
- Pat
"Yeah. Flew his own planes too.... not very well."
- Kyle, with a brutal line of the episode.
01:10:00 The trio discuss real artists' names before diving into Pat's next match. And you better strap in for this one.
01:15:00 Pat reiterates his dislike for the Aerosmith album. There are 18 songs on it. "18 songs too thin," says Mike. Pat just wants one last 10 song Aerosmith album written by the band and produced by Jack Douglas. He isn't gonna get it, he sighs. Pat is also disappointed with the new Cheap Trick. So is Kyle. There is no flow, no big hooks or catchy choruses. It's fine, but there is nothing to catch on to. But more importantly, ALDO NOVA IS BACK FOR A THIRD GODDAMN TIME! The guy is pulling a Mick Foley at the 1998 Royal Rumble.
01:20:00 This isn't a battle between two good songs. It's a battle between which songs sucks less. Kyle gives it to Aerosmith simply because of the Carrie Underwood verse. Mike gives it to Aerosmith as well.

Some more Dodson family stories. Pat's brother/Kyle's dad Kirk was talking with Kyle about who he considers a celebrity. Kirk doesn't think Bret Michaels is a celebrity because a celebrity is someone who you should recognize instantly. "It's Bret Michaels, you can see him coming a mile away!" says Mike. "He's wearing three hats!" agrees Pat. Mike saw Poison, Dokken, and Skid Row play in Nashville. He got in line just to see if he could score a cheap ticket. The guy in front of him got to talking, it turns out he had an extra near-front row ticket and a backstage pass. Score one for Mike Siegel. Pat's been doing that Greatest Hits show for ABC, which Bret Michaels is on. He's the nicest guy, and he's the only artist to nail the first take at rehearsals and the shows.
01:25:00 Mike's got a chick fight.

Linda Ronstadt has her history with the Eagles, and Don Henley shows up in the Sheryl Crow song. The man is inescapable.
01:30:00 Pat asks a question: In their prime, who would you do the dirty with? Linda or Sheryl? Mike goes with Rondstadt all the way. Pat says Sheryl Crow is still keeping it together, but Mike counters that Linda had some medical problems with the MS. How about this: prime Linda or prime Stevie Nicks? Another tough one. Stevie might win it. As for the title fight, no one officially says it, but I'm going to infer that this one goes to Linda.
The next bout can't be settled in a regular match. We're taking this one to the steel cage!

Pat cannot find ANYONE who likes Bon Jovi as much as he likes Bon Jovi.
01:35:00 The awful movie version of Rock of Ages gets brought up. It's not a good movie. At all. Thankfully that conversation is brief. Mike and Kyle go with the older, craftier veteran Alice Cooper for the victory.

We're nearing the end of the pay-per-view. The people love when Siegel is on, but the night must end eventually.
01:40:00 It's a big synthesizer battle for Mike as two sets of sibling bands clash.

Pat and Kyle give the unanimous decision to the brothers VH.

Pat attempts to bring in "Jump" by Loverboy as a late entrant, but they are immediately disqualified for their illegal use of hot pants. More Kirk Dodson talk: David Lee Roth is known to him as "the gigolo" and he does not consider Brad Pitt a movie star. Now that Yaphet Kotto, on the other hand...
01:45:00 Pat's next bout features two bands that both soared to huge heights in the 80s. But only one can win!

And now Crown Jwlz has tagged Rock Solid on Instagram! My goodness, this lady could be the next co-host with the amount of love she's sending the podcast! Mike gives it to Genesis, while Kyle says he "doesn't remember the first song played" (even though it was TWO MINUTES prior), so he gives it to Toto. Pat breaks the tie for his boys in Toto.
01:50:00 Mike's second-to-last fight heads to the ring.

"That's Red Box, guys."
- Mike

"That sucks."
- Pat

Good heavens, this was a quicker fight than Bundy-Jones at WrestleMania I.
01:55:00 Pat's last pick is quite special because it's a REMATCH OF HIS FIRST ONE!

"You son of a bitch," says Mike. "I'm gonna bust this bottle over your head." But despite pulling a Whitesnake from Title Fight Round 2, Aldo Nova's tenacious spirit has apparently won over Mike because he gives him the nod. Kyle agrees and finally, FINALLY, Aldo Nova wins a match. He's our Tomoaki Honma.

Pat admits he could have done ten Aldo Nova songs because the titles are so generic.
It is now time....... for the MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT!
02:00:00 Lou has broken off from his stable and gone solo. Some facts about Gramm's "Midnight Blue:" R.E.M. used to do a cover of it. Foreigner also rejected it when Lou brought it to them. But it's a bright day for one Lou Gramm as he is declared the winner of tonight's main event.
02:05:00 We go through the usual plugs. The new website is still in development, thanks to Kyle for all the hard work on that. As for the closing song, well, heh... there's only way we're ending this bad boy. It's our girl, our champion, our new found hero Crown Jwlz with "Make It Back" off her EP California King.
Time Song Movie Artist Who
00:10:00 California King California King Crown Jwlz Mike (First Listen)
00:10:00 Cool California King Crown Jwlz Kyle (First Listen)
00:10:00 Party Past the Sunrise California King Crown Jwlz Pat (First Listen)
00:15:00 Without U California King Crown Jwlz Kyle (First Listen)
00:20:00 Dirty Work Dirty Work The Rolling Stones Mike
00:20:00 Dirty Work Can’t Buy a Thrill Steely Dan Mike
00:20:00 Heartless Magazine Heart Pat
00:25:00 Heartless Twitch Aldo Nova Pat
00:25:00 Call Me Call Me Al Green Mike
00:30:00 Call Me This Girl’s in Love with You Aretha Franklin Mike
00:30:00 Call Me American Gigolo Soundtrack Blondie Mike
00:35:00 Badlands Darkness on the Edge of Town Bruce Springsteen Pat
00:35:00 Badlands Flick of the Switch AC/DC Pat
00:35:00 Dance with Me Let There Be Music Orleans Mike
00:35:00 Dance with Me A Fantasy Love Affair Peter Brown Mike
00:40:00 Let’s Go Crazy Purple Rain Prince Pat
00:40:00 Let’s Go Crazy Sandinista! The Clash Pat
00:45:00 Don’t Worry Baby B.J. Thomas B.J. Thomas Mike
00:45:00 Don’t Worry Baby How Will the Wolf Survive? Los Lobos Mike
00:45:00 Heart to Heart High Adventure Kenny Loggins Pat
00:50:00 Heart to Heart Aldo Nova Aldo Nova Pat
00:50:00 Good Times Risque Chic Mike
00:50:00 Good Times Portrait of a Legend: 1951-1964 Sam Cooke Mike
00:55:00 Renegade Pieces of Eight Styx Pat
00:55:00 Renegade Renegade Thin Lizzy Pat
00:55:00 Breakout There Is Nothing Left to Lose The Foo Fighters Mike
01:00:00 Breakout It’s Better to Travel Swing Out Sister Mike
01:00:00 Women Hysteria Def Leppard Pat
01:05:00 Women Head Games Foreigner Pat
01:05:00 I’m Sorry Windsong John Denver Mike
01:05:00 I’m Sorry (But So Is Brenda Lee) Downtown Marshall Crenshaw Mike
01:10:00 Can’t Stop Lovin’ You Music from Another Dimension! Aerosmith feat. Carrie Underwood Pat
01:15:00 Can’t Stop Lovin’ You Aldo Nova Aldo Nova Pat
01:25:00 It’s So Easy Simple Dreams Linda Ronstadt Mike
01:25:00 It’s So Easy C’mon, C’mon Sheryl Crow Mike
01:30:00 Novocaine Have a Nice Day Bon Jovi Pat
01:35:00 Novocaine The Eyes of Alice Cooper Alice Cooper Pat
01:40:00 Jump 1984 Van Halen Mike
01:40:00 Jump (for My Love) Break Out The Pointer Sisters Mike
01:45:00 Mama Genesis Genesis Pat
01:45:00 Mama Hydra Toto Pat
01:50:00 Lean on Me Still Bill Bill Withers Mike
01:50:00 Lean on Me The Circle & the Square Red Box Mike
01:55:00 If Looks Could Kill Heart Heart Pat
01:55:00 If Looks Could Kill Twitch Aldo Nova Pat
01:55:00 Midnight Blue Melissa Melissa Manchester Mike
02:00:00 Midnight Blue Ready or Not Lou Gramm Mike
02:05:00 Make It Back California King Crown Jwlz Kyle