Episode 229: Defiance Pat's wife, and On The Page CEO, Pilar Alessandra sits in as Guest Co-Host to giggle and play songs about rebellion! From December 3, 2015
With your host:
Pat and Kyle welcome us to the show. For the first time ever, Pat's co-host is the often mentioned Pilar Alessandra. Who is Pilar Alessandra, you ask? Well, you silly goose who's been living under a rock for the past 229 episodes, she is Pat's wife. Pilar is here for a topic that she's had in her head for a while, and now she can finally come on the show and do it: Songs about the act of defiance. If I wanted to commit to the bit, I would stop the recap right here. But I'm a professional, so I'll continue. Pat and Pilar have been together for 20 years, married for 17, they have two kids, and one cat. Pilar is the Founder/President/CEO/Head Muckity Muck of On the Page, a wildly successful screenwriting program. She also has a podcast of the same name, which is recorded in the same exact studio as Rock Solid.
Pilar has taught all over the world, including London, Dublin, Warsaw, Australia, Cape Town, China, Vietnam, Portugal, and all across Canada and these great United States. She was recently gone for 20 days, leaving Pat to take care of their two kids by himself. Pat was fine (not working certainly helps), but he has a ton of respect for working single parents. Pilar made sure to check in on FaceTime every day, much to the detriment of Pat's sleep pattern.
A fun fact about Pilar: She is the worst at mishearing lyrics. You give her a song, chances are she'll screw up the words. Example #1: She thought the "didn't I, didn't I, didn't I" in Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me" was "deedle I, deedle I, deedle I." Example #2: She thought that famous Kansas song was called "Gary, You're No Wayward Son." Example #3: The line "bad moon on the rise" in CCR's "Bad Moon Rising" registers to her as "bathroom on the right." This is the one that annoys Pat because he can't believe anyone actually thinks those are the words. We hear the "Bad Moon Rising" line as an example, but Pat doesn't think anyone truly hears it like that. Nope, Pilar certainly does. Another thing about Pilar: She HATES bands like Journey, Styx, and Foreigner, all that stuff. Remember folks: She's married to Pat freaking Francis. Pilar hates them, while Pat plays them in the house constantly. It's a wonderful combination.
Okay, defiant songs. Pilar starts us off with a story: After Pat and Pilar had been married for two years, he bought an album. And on that album, he played this song OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. The song is "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi off the album Crush. Pilar thought a message was being sent: Don't try to hold me, woman. It's my life. But Pat had a different message: Bon Jovi's back, baby. And he ain't taking no prisoners.
Pilar, by the way, is convinced that Pat has a crush on April. Wait a minute.... P-I-L-A-R... A-P-R-I-L... my god, the prophecy! Pilar reveals Pat's tricks for looking at other women. He will say one of two things: 1) "She looks a lot like you, honey." 2) "I thought that was [insert female celebrity here]." Oh Pat, you sly devil you. Anyway, Pat's first pick is a band with a lead singer whom Pilar thinks looks like an old woman. Off the album Tommy, it's "We're Not Gonna Take It" by The Who. Pilar likes it. There's also the Twisted Sister song of the same title, but since Pat hates Twisted Sister, the song is verboten.
Right before Pilar met Pat, a song was released that became an anthem for women in their 20s dumped by their jerk boyfriends. It's Alanis Morissette with "You Oughta Know" off the album Jagged Little Pill.
Pilar notes that if the term "He's just not that into you" existed back in the day, that song might not have ever existed. But alas, the dalliances of Dave Coulier helped produce that classic. Alanis went from Dave Coulier to Ryan Reynolds. "That's a penis upgrade," says Pilar. Alright then. Pat's next pick is another feisty lady, the lovely Pink. He plays "So What" from the album Funhouse.
Does Pilar still feel, in the vein of Styx and Billy Joel, like an angry young woman? No, she feels her age. As such, her anthem has changed from "You Oughta Know" to her next pick. Off the album I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You, it's Aretha Franklin with "Respect".
Women in their 40s, they work hard, they just want a little respect. The song came out the year after Pilar was born, so thank you Pat for outing your wife's age. Speaking of ages, Pat lied to Pilar about his age when they first met. She was 29, he told her he was 28. Then a few weeks later he broke the news that he was actually 31. He lowered his age because he felt like the comedy scene was all younger than him, so he didn't want to feel like an old man. Pilar is reminded of another story, this time being the worst prank Pat ever pulled on her. Pilar was pregnant and The Sixth Sense had come out. There was a scene where all of the kitchen cupboards and drawers were open. Oooooooooooooooooo. Pat decides to open all the kitchen cupboards and drawers in their house, he called Pilar into the kitchen, then hid in the bathroom and waited for the comedy to ensue. Pilar SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER; she is literally bawling her eyes out in fear. Comedy!
Pat's next pick puts it bluntly. The song is "I'm Against It" by Ramones off the album Road to Ruin. Pilar complains that those early Ramones records are exactly the same song.
"Do you like the Ramones?"
"I used to."
- Pilar, not so subtly hinting at Pat's incessant playing of Ramones in the house
Up next for Pilar is a song for defiant married people. Off of her favorite album ever Relish, it's "Let's Just Get Naked" by Joan Osborne. Many songs on the album were written by members of The Hooters. One of Pilar's friends dated a Hooter (most likely Eric Bazilian) and he allegedly had an enormous penis. A penis so big it has an elbow, as they say.
Off the album This Is M.E., Pat plays "I Won't Be Alone Tonight" by Melissa Etheridge. Melissa Etheridge is the one artist that Pat and Pilar can agree on. They had a celebrity sighting at one of her concerts: The foursome of Steven Spielberg, Kate Capshaw, Tom Hanks (with Cast Away beard and hair), and Rita Wilson. How did Pat get such great seats? Simple: He called Melissa's management, lied that he was a P.A. on Behind the Music, and said that would Melissa would give him tickets when she came to town. Jeezus, Patchiavelli over here.
The concert was after 9/11, so Melissa played John Lennon's "Merry Xmas (War Is Over)" and Pilar started to cry. So what happens next? Naturally, Pat and Pilar have to leave. Then, at a Lenny Kravitz/Aerosmith concert (which Pilar went with Pat to for his birthday), Pat noticed that Pilar wasn't having a good time. It's because the concert was taking place in a big arena and it reminded Pilar of all the people trapped in the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina. Seriously. Pilar isn't an emotional person, but music is an emotional trigger. During Les Miz, she curled up in a ball and sobbed in the theater while Anne Hathaway sang her song. Pilar also hears news reports about diseases, which causes her screenplay instincts to kick in and make her think the world is ending. She will not watch a second of Fear the Walking Dead because of it. This prompts Kyle to throw a ton of shade at FtWD. He's not afraid of that show, let me tell you. Anyway, Pilar plays her own Melissa Etheridge song. It's "I Want to Come Over" off the album Your Little Secret.
Pat finds Don Henley to be an unsavory individual, but boy can he write a hit tune. Off the album The End of the Innocence, the song is "I Won't Go Quietly". The song features Axl Rose on background vocals. "Is there one drop of subtlety in that song?" Pilar asks.
Sometimes defiance is about making an unexpected choice, notes Pilar. She plays "She's Already Made Up Her Mind" by Lyle Lovett off the album Joshua Judges Ruth. Double L is watching someone make a defiant choice.
Pat has another female voice for us. Off their self-titled EP, it's Scandal with "Goodbye to You". The Divergent/Hunger Games series get brought up. Kyle is not a fan of Jennifer Lawrence's aw shucks persona. Defiance!
We're going female for female on this one. Off the album Bad Reputation, it's Joan Jett and the Blackhearts with "Bad Reputation".
Pat's next pick is the band Soul Asylum. Off the album Grave Dancers Union, it's "Somebody to Shove". Pilar doubts the defiance-ness of the song given Dave Pirner's wish for someone to shove him. Another aspect of Pat and Pilar's life gets brought up: their neighbor Fred. Good old neighbor Fred, with his major OCD and the same shirt he wears every single day like was a cartoon character.
When someone celebrates their freedom via the medium of song, it makes Pilar want to do her thang. Off the album 1000 Forms of Fear, the song is "Chandelier" by Sia. Pilar has no idea what the hell she's saying (does anyone?), but she loves it. Also, Sia's dancing girl on SNL makes her cry. So put that one on the list too.
It wouldn't be a Pat Francis episode (wait, those are every episode) without a little Pretenders. Off of Pretenders II, the song is the spicy "Bad Boys Get Spanked".
After Pat and Pilar discuss letting their daughter eat a bunch of sweets and treats, Pilar plays her next song. It's Billie Holiday with the early defiance song "'Tain't Nobody's Business If I Do" off of Billie Holiday's Greatest Hits.
A few weeks back, Pat and his cru- er, I mean co-host April, played a bunch of Elton John songs. Well, here's one more. It's "I Don't Wanna Go on with You Like That" off the album Reg Strikes Back.
Here's an obvious one from Pilar. It's "Cherry Bomb" by The Runaways off their self-titled album.
This is the first song that came into Pat's head when he thought of defiance. It's "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty from the album Full Moon Fever. Petty is defiant to the bone. In the Petty documentary (directed by On the Page podcast guest Peter Bogdanovich), he stood up for former Byrd Roger McGuinn when a young studio guy was giving him shit.
Pat produced the Bogdanovich episode, so he chatted with him about Petty. Here's the thing, Boggy (that's what I call him since we're such great friends) didn't even know how Tom Petty was when got the request from TP to do the documentary. Pretty wild. Tom Petty is one of the artists that Pat plays a lot that she can actually enjoy. She plays "Free Fallin'" also off of Full Moon Fever. It's sort of a response to "You Oughta Know," Pilar points out. She wants a girl to cover it right. Pat plays two female covers, one by Susanna Hoffs and Matthew Sweet and the other by Stevie Nicks, but Pilar poo-poos both of them. They're not to her liking. Pat naturally busts out the Stevie Nicks impression.
An impression isn't enough though, so Pat plays some Stevie Nicks. Off the album Rock a Little, it's "I Can't Wait".
Pat then goes two-in-a-row, as he plays a song from friend of the show Ricky Warwick's new covers album Stairwell Troubadour. This is Ricky's fourth (!) album released this year, including the Black Star Riders album. Pat plays Ricky's cover of "I Fouht the Law".
Let's not forget about the ultra-defiant N.W.A. Pat and Pilar both enjoyed the Straight Outta Compton movie. "We saw it at a Magic Johnson theater," jokes Pat. Pilar didn't want to bring "Fuck the Police" to the podcast, so she went with something a little more up her alley. Off the album Taking the Long Way, it's Dixie Chicks with "Not Ready to Make Nice". The Dixie Chicks got death threats for criticizing George W. Bush, but they won in the end: This album won five Grammys.
Pat's next pick is the wonderful Warren Zevon. Off the album Mr. Bad Example, it's the song "Mr. Bad Example".
"He sounds like a drunk guy got up with the Chuckie Cheese Band."
- Kyle, talking about "Mr. Bad Example"
Here is Pilar's favorite sexy song: "Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing" by Chris Isaak off the album Forever Blue.
Reminder: Pat, Kyle, David Wild, and a still-unnamed guest will be at San Francisco Sketchfest in January doing Rock Solid live. All info can be found HERE. Some exciting news, though: Three of the possible special guests were played on today's show! To celebrate, Pat plays his final pick "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who off of Who's Next.
Hey! Remember the Rock Solid hotline? Kyle sure doesn't. But he managed to dredge up a few for today's episode. Let's take a listen:
An unknown man tells Pat Francis to go fuck himself. Pilar is aghast.
Craig in Atlanta loves the podcast. He's a little concerned about Mike's drug problem. He's also curious about April because he's kicked around Georgia for a while, so he wants to hear more about her time in Atlanta and the surrounding area.
Thanks for the phone calls, guys. I'm sure we'll get to more of them in another 18 months.
We got some plugs. You can find Pilar on Twitter @OnthePage. You can also go to her website OnthePage.tv for all of her stuff, including the podcast. Pat lays the compliments on thick for Pilar as a professional, a parent, and a wife. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Finishing up the plugs, Pilar compliments my recaps (Wooo!) and she wishes that she had an Andrew Rich for her podcast. This woman.... this amazing woman. Thanks to Pilar for being here, she ends the show with her closing song. Off the album Love Tracks, the song is "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.