Episode 186: War & Peace

Episode 186: War & Peace
Grab your rifles and put a flower in the barrel because this week Pat and Co-Host Mike Siegel are playing songs about war and more importantly peace.
From February 5, 2014

With your hosts:

Pat Francis

Mike Siegel

00:00:00 Pat welcomes us to the show. This is another late night record with the fearsome threesome of Pat, Mike, and Kyle. Because this is Rock Solid, we're recording this podcast a few days in advance (and by days, we mean months) so Mike has some upcoming dates to plug. And since these dates are rapidly approaching, this part of the recap will soon be out of date, so hurry!
Support Mike Siegel, he's a funny dude and a great guy as well.
Mike went skiing for Christmas. Pat and Kyle haven't skied for a few years. Mike wears a helmet when he skis because like Liam Neesons' wife, you never know. Kyle got a concussion skiing once, he thinks, so now he wears a helmet. When Pat skied in high school, there was always a nice sheet of ice covering the mountain. Builds character, it does. Character and skull fractures. Pat and Mike reminisce about the good old days when parents let their kids just do incredibly dangerous things. Pat's parents used to drop him off with a bunch of other kids to go strawberry picking. The mysterious strawberry overlords would put the kids in the back of trucks and then fly down the highway at top speeds. I guess some kids go to Space Camp, some kids go to Basketball Camp, and some kids go to Migrants Camp.
00:05:00 During a blizzard when he was a kid, Mike's friend's dad tied a rope behind his station wagon to a sled and Mike and his friends would slide down the road on the sled while the dad drove. Similarly, Pat would slide down a hill near his parents house. The hill actually belonged to a graveyard. So as little Patty laughed and sped his way down the hill, he passed on both sides the tombstones of long dead Pennsylvania residents. Some poor guy probably died of the rickets 150 years ago, his family spent all their money on a nice burial, and there's Pat whizzing past with nary a care in the world. Growing up with Evel Knievel didn't help. Mike would jump off roofs and tuck and roll like he was in the opening scene in Casino Royale. Here's something fun: Pat would take the tops and bottoms off of beer cans and duct tape them together end on end. Then he would take the beer can at the bottom that wasn't cut open, put a pin hole in it, pour lighter fluid around it, shake it up, light a match, and then KABLAM! Crazy S.O.B. Pat and Mike never wore seatbelts, they never wore helmets. Now Pat yells at his daughters to wear helmets when they ride their scooters. Mike asks him if he yells at them because he wants other people to know he's a good parent. Pat just doesn't want to go to the ER.
00:10:00 None of those wacky adventures have anything to do with today's topic, by the way. These are just some fun stories designed to both waste time and horrify any young parents who are listening. Pat mentions David Wild who was on last week's episode. He kept saying "my jam" for April, called Christy "Legs," and made constant drug references for Mike. But what about Murray? Nothing. Poor Murray, he just can't catch a break, even from the guests.
Kyle graces us with a listener phonecall! Let's see who dialed the number and gave us a shout.

  • It's Paul Stanley! He wants an episode devoted entirely to himself called "Kiss My Ass and Go Fuck Yourself Pat." Well, that title might be a bit too on the nose, but dammit, sometimes to get ahead, you need to take risks.
It wouldn't be a Mike Siegel episode with a sound clip. Mike brought a new one in from the movie Knocked Up. It's a conversation between Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen about Steely Dan. To sum it up with one line from the clip:

Pat mentions that one of the Pardcast-a-thon incentives was to co-host an episode of Rock Solid with a co-host of your choice (not Pat.) Pat would produce and Kyle would go fuck himself. Pat announces that the winner is Benjamin Webber and his co-host will be Mike Siegel! Congratulations to everyone! (except Kyle). The topic Benjamin wants to do is Canadian music because he is Canadian. Lot of Rush for that episode, perhaps? Maybe some Neil Young. Or, if we're lucky, some Saga. Ben is gonna have to shlep his ass to California because Pat does not want to set up Skype or a phone call. He turned down Heart by phone because it wouldn't be the same. Pat is also working on guests. No names, but he drops hints of a drummer.
00:15:00 Today's topic: War and Peace! Songs with "war" in the title and songs with "peace" in the title. Or, if you are Mike, you play a little loosey goosey with the rules and pick songs WITHOUT those words in the title. But they are war-related. Oh Mike, you lovable jackanape. Mike starts us off with his first pick and it is a doozy. Off the album Paranoid, it's Black Sabbath with "War Pigs". FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!! Wait a minute, Pat says that he actually doesn't like that song. FUCK NO!!!!!!!! Pat likes Ozzy solo more than Ozzy Black Sabbath. But he likes Dio Black Sabbath more than Dio solo. Pat is a goddamn enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a riddle dunked in confusion tied up with a conundrum.
Pat's first pick is by Billy Idol. He plays "Man o' War" from the album Devil's Playground. Pat and Jimmy Pardo will be seeing Billy Idol when he comes to town. Neither of their defeated body will compare with the majesty that is Billy Idol's torso. Pat is hoping for an autograph. Over/Under on when the shirt comes off? Minimum zero, maximum one and a half.
00:20:00 Mike's next pick is one of Pat's boys Ray Davies. Off the solo album Working Man's Cafe, it's a song called "Peace in Our Time". A Kinks reunion? Ray and Dave just can't get along.
Up next for Pat is so far the last studio album by Fleetwood Mac. He plays "Peacekeeper" off the album Say You Will. Mike is on the fence about the song. Pat says the problem with Say You Will is that there are 18 songs on it. And there aren't 18 good songs. Hopefully a new album with Christine McVie comes out soon. Mike wants to see them live. All he needs is a couple million dollars and he'll be halfway there to buying a ticket.
00:25:00 Meanwhile Mike was recently drowning in Tom Petty tickets. None of his friends could go with him. Pat was gonna go, but he got sick from the flu. Perhaps Mike can drown something else, like his sorrows, with his next pick. Off the album It's Hard, the song is "I've Known No War" by The Who. People dump on the Kenney Jones albums, but they're actually pretty good. Now The Who are on the 50th Anniversary Tour with Joan Jett. And speaking of which...
Pat's next pick is "This Means War" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts off the album Good Music. That song was in the movie Light of Day, which Jett was in with Michael J. Fox as a musical sibling duo. Mike never bought Michael J. Fox as a rocker. That Marty McFly, though, he could shred. Pat and Mike discuss Joan going into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Does she deserve it?
00:30:00 Joan had a ton of hits, but many of them were covers. Meanwhile bands like Chicago, Styx, Cheap Trick, and Journey aren't getting in, even though they all had a bunch of hits that were originals. It's all about the critics. Fucking critics. Kyle says the physical Hall of Fame sucks. There's nothing but Sgt. Pepper's outfits and Elvis outfits and shitty CD's on sale for 20 bucks. There's more cool stuff in the Hard Rock Cafe. Pat says the E Street Band should't have gone in. Bruce did 15 minute intros for guys who were only on 2 albums. Meanwhile Eric Carr and Bruce Kulick who were on multiple Kiss albums aren't in. Paul and Gene say it's the Hall of Fame's doing. Paul keeps saying the Hall of Fame hates him. Oh Paul.
Mike takes us back to the music with his next pick. Off the EP Peace in the Valley, it's Elvis Presley with the spiritual song "(There'll Be) Peace in the Valley (For Me)".
00:35:00 Pat and Kyle take a dump on the Catholic church. It's depressing and has no music. Pat doesn't want to see a guy who got his ass kicked and then got put on the cross. Come on, Pat, is it really necessary to rub salt in the wounds? And then at Sunday school, Kyle skipped a field trip to see Passion of the Christ and stayed home. For Pete's sake, guys, he's had it rough already! Show the poor guy some leniency.
No one ever asked me if I wanted some loaves and fishes.
Throwing shade at the big J.C. aside, Pat plays his next pick. It's "Peace for the Wicked" by Mick Jagger off his solo album Primitive Cool. That's some 80s goodness. Mike wants to know what the hits off that album were. Pat mentions a few songs. Mike Siegel is not convinced.
00:40:00 Mike plays some punk goodness with The Clash. Off the album Give 'Em Enough Rope, the song is "English Civil War". Pat follows this up with another Clash song. Off the UK edition of their self-titled debut, Pat plays "Hate & War". April Richardson is on a private jet right now, but we can't reveal why. She was supposed to record an episode, but something bigger came up. Will it eventually benefit the show? No. No it probably won't.
Mike is up again. He plays "Love and Peace or Else" by U2 off the album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.
Pat's next pick is Ringo Starr's slogan. He can't go 9 seconds without saying it or else he explodes into Jolly Ranchers. It's "Peace and Love" by Fountains of Wayne off the album Welcome Interstate Managers.
00:45:00 Kyle's face indicates a possible distaste for the song. Pat asks Kyle if Weezer is still good. "No, they suck," says Kyle. The Blue Album was their only good album and then everything after sucks. Fair warning Rivers Cuomo, you are not welcome at Kyle Dodson's abode. There is some brief American Sniper and Unbroken talk. Mike didn't want to see Jesus get beat up, so he won't be seeing Unbroken. Pat's mom casts a judgment over Scientology, but thinks Jesus' magic was real because it was written in the Bible. Come on, every religion has its ridiculous stories. Pat just wants us all to get along. Oh Pat, you sweetie.
Sometimes one war in the title is not enough. Sometimes two wars must come to pass. Mike plays "War on War" by Wilco off the album Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Wilco are Chicago boys. They came up in the 90s as Uncle Tupelo and became the big hip thing. Meanwhile Pat wore fringe jackets and a headband because he was KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE!
00:50:00 Pat's next pick features guest of the show Ricky Warwick. It's his band Black Star Riders. Off the album All Hell Breaks Loose, the song is "Before the War". Ricky looks like an extra on Sons of Anarchy, but he's actually a very nice guy. He invited Pat as his personal guest when Black Star Riders come to town. What a swell, Irish lad. Speaking of the Emerald Isle, when Pat was in Ireland, he saw a man who he could only describe as the Irish Mike Siegel. Except he was a lot bigger.
00:55:00 Has Mike ever been in a bar fight? Nope. But Pat did get in a bar fight once with comedian Jimmy Dore. It was more of a scuffle than an actual brawl, but they got the boot anyway. Then Pat refused to get in the car DURING THE WINTER and decided to walk home. About five minutes later Pat immediately regretted the decision. And no cell phones back then. It was a long walk home.
Mike's next pick is a classic from George Harrison. He plays "Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth)" from the album Living in the Material World.
Okay folks, strap in. 'Cause Pat is playing some John Mellencamp. It's off an album called Cuttin' Heads. Kyle makes a terrible plastic surgery joke about Meg Ryan, which is indicative to the alcohol that everyone is drinking. The Dodson boys can't seem to hold their liquor. Over Christmas, Pat's brother wanted him to drink Frangelico. Pat took a swig of it with egg nog and promptly threw up.
01:00:00 Anyway, Pat plays the Johnny Cougs song "Peaceful World". If you don't know that John Mellencamp is great, don't worry. He will certainly tell you that time and time again. He IS in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, by the way. We listen to a little bit of his induction speech. He's smoking a cigarette, then he threw it on the stage and stamped it out with his foot. What a dick. Johnny still lives in Bloomington, Indiana with his millions. The locals hate him. A friend of a friend of a friend of Pat's does construction work and got hired for Mellencamp's house. John's patio was busted up. When the friend asked another guy why the patio was broken, he was told that when Mellencamp found out he didn't get into the Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility, he took out a sledgehammer and smashed his patio to bits. Again, what a dick.
"[Mellencamp] and Sean Penn are in a disheveled smoking contest: Who can look like they just woke up the most."
- Mike, with the line of the episode.
01:05:00 Mike's next pick is a power pop guru. He plays "Holy War" by Matthew Sweet off the album Girlfriend.
Rock Solid's own Murray Valeriano was supposed to come in today because he and Mike went to a Foo Fighters concert that turned into something special. But Murray was performing at the Canyon Club, doing his thing, and has not arrived. So now it is up to Mike Siegel to tell the tale of

This was an impromptu show that the Foo Fighters were running for charities because it was Dave Grohl's birthday. Kyle was offered tickets to go, but he declined. Pat knew that April has a hookup with Dave, so he asked for a little divine intervention (hint hint, nudge nudge), but April said that Dave had run out of spare tickets.
01:10:00 So Mike, Murray, Graham Elwood, and Mike Schmidt go to the show. The Foo Fighters come out, Dave announces it's his birthday, and he brought along some special friends to celebrate.
The first guest: Paul Stanley!
  • "Detroit Rock City" (with Paul Stanley)
  • "Do You Love Me?" (with Paul Stanley)
Paul looks good… from a distance.
  • "All My Life"
  • "Rope"
  • "The Pretender"
  • "My Hero"
The next guests: Tenacious D and Slash!
  • "Tie Your Mother Down" (with Tenacious D and Slash)
  • "Immigrant Song" (with Tenacious D and Slash)
Balloons came down as everyone sang Happy Birthday to Dave. Jack Black took his shirt off and showed everyone that, yes, he is still fat.
  • "Congregation"
  • "Walk"
The next guest: Alice Cooper!
  • "School's Out" (with Alice Cooper)
  • "I'm Eighteen" (with Alice Cooper)
  • "Cold Day in the Sun"
  • "Monkey Wrench"
The next guest: Nick Oliveri from Queens of the Stone Age!
  • "Two Headed Dog" (with Nick Oliveri)
  • "Learn to Fly"
  • "White Limo"
  • "Arlandria"
The next guest: Zakk Wylde!
  • "N.I.B." (with Zakk Wylde)
  • "Fairies Wear Boots" (with Zakk Wylde)
A little too much shredding from Zakk Wylde, says Mike.
  • "Times Like These"
  • "Outside"
The next guest: Perry Farrell!
  • "Mountain Song" (with Perry Farrell)
  • "Miss You" (with Perry Farrell)
Perry did not any of the words to Miss You. But with a spaceman like him, we're lucky he's even putting together coherent sentences.
  • "Something from Nothing"
The next guest: Trombone Shorty!
  • "This Is a Call" (with Trombone Shorty)
Trombone Shorty did a back-and-forth trombone and guitar duel with Dave. His last note he held with one breath for minutes.
  • "Best of You"
The next guest: David Lee Roth!
  • "Panama" (with David Lee Roth)
  • "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" (with David Lee Roth)
Diamond Dave did not sound good at all. But he did remove his hat and reveal a completely shaved bald head. Good for you, Dave, for accepting it.
The final guest for the encore: Lemmy!
  • "Let It Rock" (with Lemmy)
This was a 31-song, 3-and-a-half hour, 50 dollar-a-ticket show. If Gene Simmons says that Rock is dead, then somebody grab a shotgun and aim for Rock's head because it just rose from the grave. Mike says that it was one of the best concerts he ever saw in LA. And Murray… well, we don't know what Murray thinks because HE ISN'T HERE!
David Lee Voldemort
01:20:00 After that awesome story, we somehow switch to briefly talking about Joe Walsh's song "I.L.B.T.s" (I Like Big Tits). Yes, that's a song. Pat has never heard of it. Look, it's a noble statement and one that I support wholeheartedly, but you gotta be a bit more subtle than that Joe if you want to make the radio.
Pat's next pick brings us back to the music. Off the album Fire of Unknown Origin, it's "Veteran of the Psychic Wars" by Blue Oyster Cult. We hear all of five seconds of it. The BOC, never getting their proper due.
Mike's next pick strums the acoustic guitar like nobody's business. Off the album Teaser and the Firecat, it's Cat Stevens with "Peace Train". Jimmy recently saw Cat Stevens in concert and openly wept during "Father and Son." Never Not Weepy.
Pat waves the white flag with this next one from Boston. Off their self-titled album, it's "Peace of Mind".
01:25:00 Mike's next song DOES NOT have the word "war" in the title. But it is about war, nonetheless. It's "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden from the album The Number of the Beast. The gang discuss the Washington Redskins. Mike says it's bullshit because they changed the name of the Washington Bullets to the Washington Wizards. And then there's the Cleveland Indians smiling redface logo, which no one talks about, plus the Tomahawk chop and the war chant. Kyle says some teams do it right, like the Kansas City Chiefs and the Florida State Seminoles. Then they bring up a high school team in Pekin, Illinois called the Pekin Chinks! That was the team name since the 1930s until 1980. What was their mascot, a takeout carton?
Racist teams aside, it's Pat's turn again. Off the album Use Your Illusion II, it's "Civil War" by Guns N' Roses.
01:30:00 It's Mike's second to last pick and he's going down South for some Tex-Mex goodness. He plays "Peace" by Los Lobos off the album Kiko.
Pat's last pick is a choice of three different versions of "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding". He picks the version by Nick Lowe off the album Quiet Please… The New Best of Nick Lowe.
Mike is a damn rebel, because his last pick doesn't have "war" in the title. But it does have "battle," which is close enough. Off the live album Alive in Seattle, it's Heart with their version of "The Battle of Evermore".
01:35:00 Pat can't believe that Murray didn't show up. They had a microphone set up and everything. Oh Murray, you could have shared the revelry of the Foo Fighters story. But alas, it's lost now like tears in the rain. Instead of Murray, we get your usual plugs. Remember to check out Mike Siegel do standup if you live in the area. The man played "War Pigs," for god's sake, so SUPPORT HIM!
The battle is over and the guns have gone quiet. Kyle brings the boys back home with "War" by Sick Puppies off the album Tri-Polar.
Time Song Movie Artist Who
00:15:00 War Pigs Paranoid Black Sabbath Mike
00:15:00 Man o' War Devil's Playground Billy Idol Pat
00:20:00 Peace in Our Time Working Man's Cafe Ray Davies Mike
00:20:00 Peacekeeper Say You Will Fleetwood Mac Pat
00:25:00 I've Known No War It's Hard The Who Mike
00:25:00 This Means War Good Music Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Pat
00:30:00 (There'll Be) Peace in the Valley (For Me) Peace in the Valley Elvis Presley Mike
00:35:00 Peace for the Wicked Primitive Cool Mick Jagger Pat
00:40:00 English Civil War Give 'Em Enough Rope The Clash Mike
00:40:00 Hate & War The Clash The Clash Pat
00:40:00 Love and Peace or Else How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb U2 Mike
00:40:00 Peace and Love Welcome Interstate Managers Fountains of Wayne Pat
00:45:00 War on War Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Wilco Mike
00:50:00 Before the War All Hell Breaks Loose Black Star Riders Pat
00:55:00 Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) Living in the Material World George Harrison Mike
01:00:00 Peaceful World Cuttin' Heads John Mellencamp Pat
01:05:00 Holy War Girlfriend Matthew Sweet Mike
01:20:00 Veteran of the Psychic Wars Fire of Unknown Origin Blue Oyster Cult Pat
01:20:00 Peace Train Teaser and the Firecat Cat Stevens Mike
01:20:00 Peace of Mind Boston Boston Pat
01:25:00 Run to the Hills The Number of the Beast Iron Maiden Mike
01:25:00 Civil War Use Your Illusion II Guns N' Roses Pat
01:30:00 Peace Kikos Los Lobos Mike
01:30:00 (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding Quiet Please… The New Best of Nick Lowe Kenny Loggins Pat
01:30:00 The Battle of Evermore Alive in Seattle Heart Mike
01:40:00 War Tri-Polar Sick Puppies Kyle